I can't smell the internet

I can’t smell the internet.
The man selling roses at the nightclub
The stink of saliva: my own and hers.
Odorous honours.
The colour of liquid rubies.
Alcoholic vapours that crystallize my thoughts.
The young girl touched my penis; the old one depressed me.
I am a tourist in the flames of the sun.
But I will never reach the source of heat…of the odour.
I will always be chained by a daily life.
I lose myself in the trash of my memories.
There was a time – ah yes, nostalgia – when I thought I was rich;
But now I am only inundated by the horror of the moment.
There were things that I read – to help with digestion;
There were things that I drank, but I wasted too much.
Now I am just tired and fed up.
Being a being who can’t see anymore.
Blind and afraid.
And we go around in circles – never arriving, no longer stopping.
There was a time – of course, nostalgia – when I could smell the universe in a moment.
Where she existed in my life – singularly, a fixed point.
No need for swimming, I had my direction on every side.